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Side A - Song 7

lyrics

7) Blackberry

& I don’t know shit about genetic engineering, never have a girlfriend till I’m 21, get laid 5 times before my marriage, none of them memorable, nothing wondrous. I am that small, weird, non-athletic, ugly kid who the large, strong, handsome boys in school always beat up, always belittle, and always slay, yet the next day, May-Lee-hostess-skin-tight-cheetha-shorts-showing-half-her-curvy-ass-that-desires-only-former-loser-boy’s-wood informs me there’s some killer pot, “at Kristi Blackberry house. For real, she middle name, ‘Blackberry.’ So, Boy-boy, make we go smoky-smoke.”
I follow. She holds my hand, singing the whole way & smooching me. We walk into a district I didn’t know existed, are met at the door by the world’s smallest, string bikini. I can’t decide how the top stays on. It reveals much more of Miss-skinny than it covers, obviously no pubic hair, barely covers her tooshy. She has stunning, blue eyes...in Belize? & hardly any waistline where her stomach should be. Holy shit, she comes across so dainty & gentle. I mean, how can this immaculately pure-seeming woman be friends with this other woman who’s so very, very different? Instantly, I’ve forgotten about pot.
May-Lee-tip-toe-walking strips herself, then strips me & insists I, “Stick Kristi, or I tell Mario that you rape I yesterday.”
“Hey, no problem there,” I snap, eyes lost in Kristi-blue-awe.
May-Lee-clingy-here-comes-some-payback lies underneath Kristi & unties Slim-slender’s bra & thong, twinkles her identical-tit nipples, insists I, “Bite she nookies...Miss-prettiest-ever...bite she...good...Fuckah...good...”
She is the flavor petals would have if you could only eat them. I never want to stop teething, but Kristi-dainty pushes me off. I stand back, gawking at Blackberry-hairless-bliss. I’ve never seen one like this. I reach out & help May-Lee-grabber pry that sleek petaluma wide, gouging & stuffing our fingers into its slickness. Kristi-smoothie is moist & perspiring, but freaking a bit, too.
“Stick she ooie...no fighty, Kristi-Kris.”
I’ve never felt pussy like this before, didn’t know it can be so glove-like & so inviting.
“Harder!” May-Lee-bitch shouts. “Harder!”
I’m glad to pound Kristi-pussy-shaver as long as I can.
“Wait, no spitty yet! Stick she boy-stealing’ pooie! Gator Beauty-queen in she pooie!”
My cock has to wedge open Kristi-protest-butt, five good jams to get inside.
“Strong...Mistah Fuckah...strong...hurt this bitch...Kristi-whiny-whiny...man-stealing bitch...”
& Kristi is crying, has been, streams running from her eyes. She is not trying to get away. May-Lee-wrestler’s using all of her grip, cusses her out, “You scaredy baby! You ishy cunt! Open you pooie! You no get free! You told I you wanted this so bad! No pissy-spit for you, Kristi-whiny! Stop trying for get free, you boyfriend-robbin’ slut!” Forces me to fill that squirming, flinching cave, swears I have to gush only in there or she will talk story with Mario & Mary Beth.
& I don’t know shit about rape & what the conflict is between these two, but I yank out, fill Kristi-wonderland vagina with tremendous squirts, sputtering, “...ooo...Kristi...Kristi-kitty-cat...I’m sorry, she made me...”
She quits struggling, transforms, wraps soft, wiry arms & legs around me, her crotch so tight, drying her cheeks on mine, whispering, “Strong for you...strong for you...” Kissing & hugging me. “...this lee gal, she strong for you, Mistah Fuckah...”
Meanwhile, May-Lee-jealousy’s bitching, “You bastard! You fuck! No spitty in Kristi pissy, you yucky-yuck donkey-fuck! Never no more, Kristi-bitch-thief-slut-whore!” She’s slugging my sides & my back, so I ease out of Kristi-sorry & slide into May-Lee-screamer. “...ooie...ye-e-es...” She shivers, devours me. “...ooie... lovie-lovie...yummy-yum...slippy slidy...ooie-kooie...”
I’m lengthening already, Kristi & I crushing May-Lee-muffin into the wooden floor. K.-Berry-body, presses intensely into Johnny-J.-body. Legs wrap aggressively around Johnny-waist-desire. She’s whimpering, “...strong for you...strong for you...”
I whisper, “...o, tasty Blackberry...strong for you...”
& I don’t know shit about deception or jealousy, but I’m growing quickly.
May-Lee-teaser huffing, puffing, “...big bad nasty...fill me piss-piss...yes...spitty I...spitty I ooie...”
Takes twenty minutes of speed-metal demolition, Kristi’s groin & belly stuck to my stomach every stroke, before I have to fake detonating again, pretend to fill May-Lee-hunter with my sperm. Never lie until I absolutely have to... She’s satisfied, so I slide out & enter Kristi-heaven-slice again. She pants. I pant, softly purr into her ear, “Kristi...pickny for Kristi...one small kiss can start a generation...”
I push as far into her suction as I possibly can, both of us moaning & kissing atop May-Lee-jealous-ha-ha-fake-you-out-pussy-full-of-nothing-but-Mistah-Fuckah-sweat-‘cuz-this-secret-is-a-blindfold-you-are-too-blind-to-see-passed-out-cold-already-dreaming-of-the-babies-you-cannot-get-out-of-Johnny-James-vasectomy-Brown-exhaustion.
“...ooo...Mistah Fuckah...”
“...ooo...Kristi-perfect-delicate-Blackberry...I want to do you every time...fuck the rest...Kristi...Kristi...”
I cannot stop breathing her name. We collapse, a nude pile of humans, screwed stupid, two of us together, slobbering toward sleep, one beneath us, our squishy, squashy, zoned-out mattress.
& I don’t know shit about choosing, but this room cannot really be in Belize, ‘cuz one wall is all bookshelf, loaded with books.
”Fuck,” I think as I’m fading away, “Kristi-figurine is one strange Belize girl. I mean, she likes to read & who’s ever heard of that here before?”

credits

from DON'T KNOW SHIT - SIDE A&B, released April 10, 2013
patrick mckinnon
bill bailey

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